You know what I’ve begun to notice recently? We aren’t celebrating victories anymore. As a society, we are silently envying the successes of our friends and families… and it doesn’t go unnoticed.

In my life, I started to notice this with friends who have grown purposely distant and standoffish. Now, I try my best to limit what I share with everyone, not only face-to-face but also with my social media accounts. My Instagram has no pictures that brag of my successes, although I do have a few posts and stories that highlight some important moments. Still, there are people close to me who will negatively internalize my victories when I do share them, and it’s created really high anxiety for me because I’ve always tried my best to please others. Often times, I’ll go out of my way to be as generous and as kind as I can, but there’s a point where my frustration spills over.

Here’s the takeaway: please don’t assume that people are always ‘handed’ successes in life when it’s actually a culmination of hard work and determination. For me, it’s genuinely heartbreaking to put all this effort into a project or idea and have a friend coldly ignore it. It makes me wonder what exactly I’ve done wrong in pursuing my passion, and then I proceed to brainstorm ways to get his or her approval back (none of which work).

To whoever is reading this: I implore you to really listen to your friends and family. Celebrate when they celebrate, cry when they cry. Don’t overlook your own victories and defeats to satisfy their needs, but find a good balance. Human beings search for connection their whole lives, so let’s get rid of the fake persona and instead form long lasting, joy-filled bonds.

Personally, I wouldn’t want it any other way.