“You want weapons? We’re in a library! The best weapons in the world!” – the 10th Doctor

My younger brother introduced me to Doctor Who in middle school, and since then, the show has become a deep comfort for me, an obsession, a beautiful reminder of all the things I need to hear at the right time. We started with David Tennant as the Doctor — so he will forever be my favorite — but the series itself is remarkable. After the last episode (the newest) and all the announcements associated with its airing, I felt it necessary to write my own take and share my excitement!

“Spoilers!” – River Song

Firstly, when I began watching The Power of the Doctor (released October 23, 2022), I wasn’t quite sure what to expect. I knew that Jodi Whittaker would be regenerating into Ncuti Gatwa (to which I can only say heck yeah), and I buckled down for an emotional episode. A mug of tea and a box of cheez-its were at my disposal. With Sacha Dhawan reprising his role as the Master, the sentiment certainly rang true. I fangirled over the return of familiar characters such as Kate Stewart, Tegan, Ace, and of course the good old Cybermen and Daleks. BUT NOT ONLY did we see these wonderful people arrive on screen, but we also witnessed the fantastic surprise ending: that David Tennant would be reappearing for not one… not two… but three whole episodes in November! Imagine my shock as I sat in the dark at midnight in my dorm. Imagine the tears of joy I spilled as my roommate slept, undisturbed, on the other side of the room. Imagine the extent of my sleep-deprivation the next day!

“Whole worlds pivot on acts of imagination.” – the 13th Doctor, Jodi Whittaker

Let’s backtrack for a second. When I watched my first few episodes of Doctor Who, my family and I lived in Texas– but we were about to move halfway across the country. I think I’ve managed to block many of the memories out, on account of how traumatizing it was. Years passed before I recovered entirely. Even now, I wonder: what if ?

What I do remember is David Tennant and his catchphrase throughout each season (which had previously been available on Netflix before it was removed, something I will never forgive them for). “Allons-y!” the Tenth Doctor declared, over and over; French for “Let’s go!” It became a way of motivating myself too, because I was a shy, twelve-year old kid with bangs, a deep passion for reading and writing, and music. I was introverted and anxiety ridden and looking for myself.

I remember his regeneration in all of its detail. It rewinds in my head on particularly gray-skied days. I remember the way he looked at the camera, eyes darkening in sorrowful realization, as he uttered his last line. “I don’t want to go.”

I didn’t want to go, either.

“Letting it get to you. You know what that’s called? Being alive. Best thing there is. Being alive right now is all that counts.” – the 11th Doctor, Matt Smith

A few years ago, BBC brought David Tennant back for an anniversary special. There were three Doctors in the two-part episode: Tennant, Matt Smith (who was the current Doctor at the time), and the War Doctor. It’s still one of my favorites to this day— and I hope this is what the writers have attempted to emulate in their upcoming episodes!

“Who I am is where I stand. And where I stand is where I fall.” – the 12th Doctor, Peter Capaldi

“Love, in all its forms, is the most powerful weapon we have. Because love is a form of hope. And like hope, love abides. In the face of everything.” – the 13th Doctor

Like each and every regeneration of The Doctor, I have loved and laughed and lost and grieved. Like each and every regeneration of the Doctor, I struggle with loneliness and heartache and self-discovery. But I am still here, and I too continue to choose to do good. So yes, this is an ode to the evolution of a show extraordinarily dear to my heart— and I am not ashamed of it. I am better because of it, because of all its wibbly, wobbly wisdoms and timey-wimey words. To the entire cast of Doctor Who, I say: thank you, for making me feel seen, for being there. I cannot wait for these next few chapters.

Allons-y!